the four right chords can make me cry

When you have the most work to do, every little thing becomes an immense distraction.

I bought a PET bottle of Kickapoo some time ago from a vending machine, on whim, and have been using it since as a water bottle. As I was innocently taking a mid-study drink from it, I noticed that the ingredients lists read like this:
Carbonated water, sugar, maltitol, kickapoo concentrate, permitted food conditioners and colours (tartrazine), flavouring, potassium sorbate and ascorbic acid (vitamin C).

the mid-study drink then became a post-study drink as I abandoned all work to google "kickapoo".

Check this out!
KICKAPOO JOY JUICE is a liquor of such stupefying potency that even the hardiest citizens of Dogpatch, after a first burning sip, rise into the air, stiff as frozen codfish. Concocted in a large wooden vat by the inseparable cave-dwelling buddies Lonesome Polecat and Hairless Joe, the ingredients are both mysterious and all-encompassing. When the brew needs a little more body, the pair throws one in.

Lonesome polecat and hairless joe?!?! HAHAHAHA...

posted by beckyboo @ 11:01 PM 1 comments

I've gone pubbing past 2am for 3 nights in a row.
PubMed-ing, that is.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:57 AM 2 comments

I had a very similar conversation with my prof 2 weeks ago, just not so extreme. He seems to think that it's still the first month of school when in fact, this term is going to be over soon.

posted by beckyboo @ 12:42 PM 0 comments

The best Monday I've had in a long time =)

Nice sleep with the rain outside.
Veron was nice enough to lend me money cos I left my wallet in my room.
Presentation went well!
Lunch with Fadz!
Conferences, at last.
Being with everyone again just felt so good.
Happy birthday weimin!

posted by beckyboo @ 9:20 PM 0 comments

True, I talk of dreams,
Which are the children of an idle brain,
Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,
Which is as thin of substance as the air
And more inconstant than the wind, who wooes
Even now the frozen bosom of the north,
And, being anger'd, puffs away from thence,
Turning his face to the dew-dropping south.

posted by beckyboo @ 2:32 AM 2 comments

Negotiating a Postmodern, Posthuman world

One of the things I've often struggled with is the anti-intellectual flavour that I've seen some Christians adopt. Don't study philosophy, because, it will weaken your faith, don't think so much (most annoying phrase by far), don't be so cheem, faith is meant to be simple. Well yes, faith IS simple, but it's not simplistic.

I've found myself increasingly dissatisfied with the pat, unreflective answers to genuine questions I've harboured, but scarcely dared to air. Compared to the robustness and coherence of the theories and ideas that I've increasingly been exposed to academically; those cut and dried sunday school answers seem to wither and distance themselves even further from reality. Worse of all, dogmatic assertions made blindly and uncompromisingly (but with good intentions) forced down unwilling throats. To be honest, the narrowness of vision and perspective has sometimes left me disillusioned and frustrated, unable to articulate and engage.

I probably have only held on this long through encounters with sensitive friends willing to listen and understand, some who feel the same way. But sometimes (pretty often), I feel disengaged, misunderstood and isolated.

So it was very good indeed this week to hear from Vinoth Ramachandra. Contrary to constant excuses made on behalf of a quiet audience struggling to unpack his rather "dense" lectures, I found his insights on Postmodernism and Posthumanism rather underwhelming, he is certainly a very well-read man but I think he held back the deep stuff for this series of talks. But I think he painted a fairly accurate (and bleak) picture of reality; it was a quite fair and balanced description of the way things are (insofar as I perceive reality accurately, but that's really a whole other can of worms). But what struck me most of all was how exquisitely simple the answers are, were, and always have been.

Simple though the answers may be, their implications are profound and far-reaching; there is not one area of life that they do not impact upon. I was quite disappointed when someone went up and said something to the effect of, "I don't want this to just be a 'brain-tickling' exercise; could you tell me some practical things I could do about it?" Really showed how the message was completely lost on this person (and probably most people); namely, please think critically for yourself!

It's not "just" an academic exercise, it's not a passive process of listening to someone and taking orders and directives like some cheapo self-help book. But encountering a representation of the Truth, thinking about how your viewpoint differs from the one presented, meditating and reflecting upon it; if you do all these things , how can it NOT occur to you what must change, what the implications are? And these implications are different for each person, you do yourself wrong when you'd rather unreflectively have someone tell you what to do next. Sometimes I feel its a way of absolving responsibility and a way of restricting and limiting what is required of us by God. If I do X, Y and Z, as the speaker suggests, then yay, I've done my duty and in all other aspects of my life I can continue as before.

The message is far more profound than that.

If we look at what Jesus set out to do, to set the captives free, to feed the hungry and clothe the naked, to invert the world order; is it any wonder that Singaporeans don't like to hear about this? In God's world order, we could be as near the bottom as we are near the top now. So the audience bristles, defensive and eager to squeeze out a kind word for our money-worshipping society, but there is none.

It forced me to take a long, hard look at myself. I grudgingly admit, yes, I have been less willing to engage with unpleasant people in real life because through technology, I can easily find like-minded people. Yes, I often distance myself from the world and behave like a vagabond or a tourist. Yes, I have sometimes treated people than less than they are worth in the eyes of God. Yes, things, relationships and even people have sometimes become commodities to me. Yes, I have often shirked community because it IS slow, messy and difficult. Guilty as charged.

As underwhelming the theoretical discussion was, the spiritual dimensions were enormously overwhelming. Like Damien said, you just don't know where to start.

But at least now, I believe again in the answers.

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
And to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

posted by beckyboo @ 1:28 AM 2 comments

this week i...
- overslept and missed a lecture =(
- wrote a song with yiwen and sarah!
- wrote an email to my aunt =)
- got new antibodies to play with
- discussed quantum theory and the dark side of hippos in the same conversation
- downloaded another don and drew episode
- saw the sunset at west coast park
- missed being in the UK real bad
- was challenged by a talk
- was switched off in lectures
- got a lift back to pgp! hoot!

tadah!

posted by beckyboo @ 11:02 PM 4 comments

Newton Faulkner - Teardrop (Massive Attack Cover)

posted by beckyboo @ 11:06 PM 1 comments